In My Head
by xxDark-Elfxx
Summary: Wingfic: a type of fanfic where one or more characters is given non-canon wings. I may be the first person to write D/V wingfic. Huh. Please R&R, as I obviously need the human contact. :


**In My Head**

_Under the weight of your wings,_

_you are a god and whatever I want you to be._

_'In My Head' - Anna Nalick_

Daniel had seen them the first time they met.

Twin jagged lines running down her back, in between spine and shoulder blades, slightly longer than his hand. But he was too busy not responding to the pliant, firm body moving under his hands with ease to wonder. Then she was gone in a pile of airman and a damaged alkesh and that was that.

When she came back, he'd noticed for all the cleavage baring she did, her back was always covered. With leather, with cotton, with waves of silky black hair. The two of them were caught up in pushing and pulling and standing still and he wrote them off as the remnants of whatever was done to remove Quetesh. Then Adria was captured and the Tok'ra showed up and explained what they would do. No mention of slicing into creamy flesh was made, of teasing apart muscles and bone to remove the symbiote. And when life slowed down enough for him to think about more than saving the universe, Daniel wondered.

The time came when she was stretched out on her stomach on his workbench, feet swinging lazily in the air, flipping through a magazine for whatever she wanted to buy. He hesitated for a moment, hand raised, before resting it on her back, right between where he knew they lay. Vala, for her credit, didn't show a thing, but he felt the panic suddenly seize her, felt the tremors run along her body, and he gave a wry smile. He moved his hand slowly, sliding it towards the hem of her shirt while keeping his tone deliberately light.

"If I'd known this was all it took to unnerve you, I would have done it sooner."

"Daniel, don't." Her voice was tight, borderline pleading, and that alone should have stopped him, but it was too late. He had lifted her shirt to reveal the skin he still dreamed about and the two scars marring the perfection. She laid her forehead on her crossed arms, allowing him to look, but she radiated tension and Daniel knew if he didn't play this exactly right, he'd be bleeding and she'd be gone.

With all the reverence he paid to the most priceless of artifacts, Daniel brushed his fingertips over the raised mark, gently following the twisting, uneven path. Vala sucked in a breath, a shiver passing through her and up his arm.

"Daniel." She infused his name with equal parts warning and wanting, making him all the more curious.

"Relax. I just wanna see." He murmured, caressing her skin in a smooth up and down motion.

"Daniel," Vala said, sounding choked and desperate, "I can't…"

They unfolded in an instant, with a cool rush of air making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Years of training kicked in and he stepped back just in time to avoid the full rushing impact, instead feeling just a sweep of softness across his arm. With everything he'd seen and done in his life, Daniel was still speechless at the sight before him.

Vala was laid out, legs straight behind her, weight resting on her forearms, head in her hands and dark hair falling to obscure her face in direct contrast to the shimmering dove grey of her wings. They fanned out to the sides, a subtle bend making them take up less than the five foot length the archeologist in him automatically estimated. The thin feathers on the edge trembled slightly and he was suddenly aware of the rapid rise and fall of her back, her panting breaths seeming too loud in the small space.

"Did-" The words caught in his throat and he had to swallow before continuing. "Did that hurt?"

A harsh laugh shook her frame, the tips of her wings flexing with the reverberation. "Of course it hurt, Daniel, they're _attached_."

He winced at the pain, so much more than physical, evident in her voice. "I'm sorry." Vala said nothing, but her wings curved downward, brushing the floor, allowing him room to step forward again.

"May I?" He held his breath, knowing somehow that all the things between them, all the possibilities and improbabilities, everything, hinged on this one moment. She held them there, waiting, before relaxing just the smallest bit, releasing a sigh that seemed to come from the deepest place inside her. Daniel lifted his hand and stroked her skin again, soothing the pain with gentle circles of his thumb. Vala made a little hum in the back of her throat and he smiled.

"Is this okay?" He whispered, not waiting for an answer before tracing the delicate knobs of her back up to her neck. He leaned in, mesmerized by the blending of skin into sinew into feathers, when the underside of his bare arm brushed the downy surface. Vala gasped, back arching up into the touch like a cat, and Daniel froze. "Vala?"

"Nothing. It's nothing." Her breath came in sharp huffs again, and another shiver wracked her body. He held his palm over the ridge of her wing, hovering just close enough to feel the heat coming off the silvered surface.

"You can tell me." He whispered again, and she just shook her head, burying her face in her arms once more. He reached out with his free hand and swept her hair aside, running his knuckles over her cheek. "Trust me, Vala."

She inhaled sharply, unshed tears glistening under her lashes, and whispered back. "No one's touched them since my mother died." He bowed his head, and for a split second he wanted nothing more than gather her up and rock her in his arms like the little girl she never had enough time to be. He gathered his courage instead and moved his hand along her wing, shaping the air a hairsbreadth above it.

"They're beautiful."

"They're a disgrace." Her words were flat, heavy with years of repetition.

"Says who?" He let one fingertip run tenderly along the ridge of a single feather and along the outline of a rib beneath it.

"My ex-fiancée. My father. My step-mother. Everyone." A single tear slipped free and slowly made its way across her face.

"I think you're beautiful, Vala." He fought down the urge to hit someone, focusing instead on the way the light reflected off her feathers. "All of you."

She shook her head, backhanding the few tears that managed to escape away. "I, I need to…" Vala inhaled, muscles tightening and body braced against the table. The wings folded back, retracting with a dull grind of bone on bone he hadn't heard before.

"You okay?" He asked again.

Vala choked back a sob and shook her head once more. "No."

Daniel noticed she was still trembling and he pulled her up, tucking her head under his chin. "Hey. It's all right, angel, I've got you." He smoothed her shirt back down, unconsciously stroking over the scars. "So, uh. Always?"

"No. They…" Vala burrowed closer, wrapping her arms around his waist. "When I was twelve. I got a fever and slept for days, and when I woke up…"

He pulled her closer, holding her here, with him, away from the past. "That must have been rough."

She sniffled and managed a weak chuckle. "At the time I thought it was wonderful. My mother…She never made me feel bad. She used to take me outside after dark and we'd twirl around and around. Like flying. Until she died, I thought they were a blessing."

"And after?" He prodded gently, scarcely breathing in case he shattered the odd calm between them.

"Adria." The dull pain was back in her voice, the word like a stone in her mouth, and Daniel knew it was pain caused by both the bearers of that name in her life. He placed a soft kiss in her hair and she pulled back a little, putting some room in between their bodies.

"Daniel.." She hesitated and shifted just slightly toward the door.

"I'm not going tell anyone, Vala. It's yours to keep." He felt more than heard the exhalation of relief.

"I know."

He lifted her chin to look in her eyes, eyes the same color as her wings. "But you were gonna ask me anyways, right?"

"Yes." She bit her lip, now staring determinedly at his collarbone. "Daniel. If…if you want me to go, I'll understand."

He raised his eyebrows. "Do you want to go?"

"I'm just saying, I'd get it if-"

"Vala." He interrupted her. "Do you want to leave?"

She breathed in sharply, like the thought hurt. "No. I wanna stay."

Now it was his turn to sigh with relief. "Then stay."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

They stood there, wrapped in each other, until Daniel couldn't help it any longer. Fiddling with the hem of her shirt, he asked, "So. Can you fly?"

That got a reaction, a throaty chuckle and the return of her usual mischievous smirk. Letting her hands wander down his back, she leaned up to whisper in his ear.

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

-fin


End file.
